Oh, lorge. It’s the Fat Bear Week Finals and two of the biggest boars of Brooks River are here to conceptually duke it out. It’s a packed house (around 150K voters each day!) and this one’s a real claw-biter.
Interesting play by the voters yesterday, stomping out 602 Flotato! If nothing else, he is certainly a People’s Choice Award kind of bear. Fat, happy, fat: truly a triple threat. Had it been Favorite Bear Week he might have had a better chance. Same with 128 Grazer, whose airtight brand of fierce motherhood has a stout and devout following. Still, she came up short against “Daddy Long Legs” 856.
And so, dear readers, amid a bracket of broad babes and lover boars it’s come down to the two bad boy antiheroes.
856 is tearing through Fat Bear Week, 3-0. Despite his king-sized history, he has never come this close to the finish line. He, like all the bears, does not know about Fat Bear Week, or care, but I do in general think he wants it more. He has always wanted it more. He got known for his explosive plays when he was only 10. He threw everything he had at this and rose to fame, gaining a reputation as a super dominant, extremely aggressive bear. He was kingpin of the River for over a decade.
Meanwhile, starting last year, 32 Chunk the Hunk had had enough. We don’t know what switch went off the previous winter, but Chunk came out of hibernation chomping at the bit, the butts, everyone. He was gonna be the next big thing and he wanted all the bears to know. He was dark and broody and on an actual tear. Then, the thing happened: he killed 128 Grazer’s cub, Smalls.
Many thought this was unforgivable. But, for the record, 856 also killed multiple cubs during his reign.
So how did two semi-villains make it to the finals? Complexity! Depth! Conflict!
32 Chunk shows up this season and he’s injured. His mouth is falling out of his mouth. At first we didn’t know if he could eat / survive. To top it off, he was born with these narrow-set eyes that make him look worried basically all the time. It was vulnerable. It was high stakes. It was drama.
Best moment? When my boy 503 — aka Cubadult, aka the Prince of Katmai — invites him to play. 32 Chunk used to get down all the time as a little boar but in his rise to serious adulting he stopped messing around. 503 (also an adult, but younger than Chunk) was like “Come on bro, loosen up, have some fun,” and then they — *holds back tears* — did. They splashed and pawed and gnawed, gently and tenderly, at each other’s faces. 503 went easy on Chunk’s jaw. 32 Chunk let his guard down.
32 Chunk is not the only one exposing his soft spot. 856 is moving at senior speed, now yielding to younger and smaller bears. And, we were witness to what many describe as his grief. (Trigger warning for the next paragraph). 856 was on-again-off-again lovers with a female bear named 402. So 856 was also known as 402’s husband. Last fall, 402 was killed by a completely different boar, 469 Patches. I won’t get into the hows and potential whys. But after 856’s wife was killed, 856 went to her. He went to her body, went to the site where she died. He spent a long time there — pacing, gazing, sniffing — and he returned every day for a week. Animals experience emotions. Many, including me, believe the once powerful 856 was in mourning.
So you see; these fat bears are — wait for it — well-rounded. In many ways, some of the greatest fun of Fat Bear Week is the characterization of the contenders. We know that the bears demonstrate individuality — that is, they have distinct traits, preferences and behaviors. Even though they are mostly solitary, they remember and regard each other; they have sustained, elaborate webs of relationships that are constantly being negotiated in a collectively understood hierarchy. So, it is natural to acknowledge them not just as unique numbers, but as unique, complex stories.
Past Fat Bear Week winners have represented enormity, yes, but also generosity, patience, protectiveness and more. Today we see a finals match that goes beyond size; it captures vulnerability, pain and resilience. 32 Chunk and 856 are not just big; they’re tremendous. They remind us how wild and complicated it is to be a bear, to be human, and to be alive.
I can’t choose. But you can; you will. I’ll be back tomorrow with the results.
May the fattest bear win. Voting is open 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. AKST at fatbearweek.org.
